Mid-course correction

I'm not a strong believer in mid-life as a crisis point.

I do think it's an opportunity for something like a mid-course correction. Enough time living to grasp what's working and what's not, and to have a sense of agency about the next chunk of time.

Today I was just happy to be alive. Since discovering (on-line) a few weeks ago that an ex-boyfriend had unexpectedly died, I don't take anything for granted. It's not that I am unexposed to death; my mom died when I was 20, my dad before I turned 30. But D. is the first friend to die, and that feels significant: he will always be 48, his experiences stopped there. But I'll move forward in time. And now I'm older than him.

G. took some photos of me today. I like the way I look when she's behind the camera, but I was shocked at how much white was in my hair. I don't look that snowy in the mirror.